Pickled Eggs
Though I’m not an economist, I don’t see why I can’t propose an economic theory. I think that I have developed an as-yet-undocumented business model which accounts for the success of numerous commercial enterprises.
Picture the scene: you’re in a chip shop, choosing between the usual fare, deciding whether to get a pineapple fritter or instead splash out on getting some scampi instead of the normal cod. On the counter stands a large, slightly imposing jar. Inside, in a slightly cloudy, colourless solution of ethanoic acid, float the boiled and de-shelled ova of chickens.
One day, you’ll probably try one. Your friends will snigger as you take the first bite, egging you on (groan) in this slightly icky endeavour. It will probably mostly taste a bit odd, and, having finished it, you will consign it, unthinking, to the list of “things I’ve done before”, between “made a 999 call” and “taken a photograph of a popular television journalist”.
I have, in fact, eaten a pickled egg. It did indeed taste a bit weird; kind of like those Ritz crackers, in that, though they taste slightly odd and unpleasant, there’s a certain ambiguity in the taste which ca only be resolved by trying another, and another, until the packet’s empty. Thus, I forced my way, with continuous curiosity, to its end. Not as bad as you might think, but probably not a taste which is worth the inherent excess cholesterol to experience again.
Thus, I introduce a new economic concept: the pickled egg industry.
A pickled egg industry is one which makes its money through people trying its products once, and never again. If there is a large enough pool of potential buyers, it will succeed.
Whether or not the pickled egg industry actually constitutes a pickled egg industry is difficult to determine; given that there are 650,000 births in the UK annually, and we assume that the pickled egg industry will supply them with one pickled egg each at some point during their lifetime, we can approximate this as being the number of people who will buy a pickled egg annually. At the slightly steep price of 50p per ovum, this gives the industry a turnover of £300,000. Not a great deal, especially if multiple companies with managers, shareholders and costs wish to fight it out for a piece of the pickled egg pie (not a literal pie, of course: that would be disgusting).
So, the possibilities are
- that pickled eggs are a tiny industry, only being a sideline to companies involved in producing other products.
- that some crazy pickled egg fiend(s) are buying up vast, unforeseen quantities of vinegary, eggy goodness and buoying an otherwise doomed industry.
- that the government, the CIA or some fat cats with a vested interest are artificially inflating the market to perpetuate this traditional foodstuff to some conspiratorial end such as World domination.
- that, though pickled egg businesses do have a decentish turnover, a large proportion of their income actually comes from this phenomenon; perhaps everyone tries two or three pickled eggs in their life, thus doubling or tripling the industry’s profitability.
The other examples of pickled egg industries I can think of are mostly tourism-related; Cornish wine can’t be that nice as the grapes are grown too far north, Kendal mint cake is not only disgusting but also an electrical storm in the mouth for anyone with even slightly sensitive teeth…and so on. Luckily, there is a ready supply of tourists in both these destinations willing to eat or drink these things whilst on location, despite the fact that they almost certainly wouldn’t do ordinarily.
So, the message to budding entrepreneurs? Create a pickled egg industry with products costing a few pounds apiece, and you only need people to try them once ever to make yourself a tidy profit.
And the message to conspiracy theorists? How many people do you know who eat pickled eggs on a regular basis? Not many? Is something amiss? Time to call in Mulder and Scully…
February 28th, 2006 at 09:50
It’s option 2, and the “crazy pickled egg fiend(s)” are Northerners.
I love a packet of salt and vinegar crisps with a pickled egg in them. I once, on a craving, explored all of Aber’s pubs in an attempt to find one. I’ve even pickled my own eggs (though I’ve somehow managed to misplace the photos - they’re online somwhere…).
Or option 4, and I’m an outlier.
In any case, it’s pickled pigs’ trotters you need to worry about. I have a jar (unopened) if you want to try one?
February 28th, 2006 at 19:59
Its option 2, there is a population of pickled egg lovers in the country who actually enjoy eating them. Your research needs to be extended to some of the seedier drinking establishments in the country, and as Scatman observes, the most likely hunting ground for this is the more northerly regions of the empire. Here you’ll find that floating an egg in a pint of beer, to be enjoyed when the glass has been emptied of its liquid contents, is a bit of a Friday night treat.
You probably have to have had a few egg free beers to get you in the mood for this, but it happens, frequently.
Maybe there’s a refinement of your theory here - products which rely on their consumers being too drunk to understand what they’re doing before they’ll buy them….
September 25th, 2006 at 10:12
A friend and I have been discussing pickled eggs for sometime now, in particular how they appear to be completely unaffected by inflation. We wonder whether the Retail Price Index, used by the Government to determine inflation, includes pickled eggs (i.e. in the ‘basket’ of commonly purchased good and services). If so we reckon that Inflation is seriously under-estimated as pickled eggs appear not to have changed in price for years. Our local (in the county of Kent, ‘the garden of England’) charges 40p per pickled egg (latin name: eggus vulgaris). What’s happening in the rest of the country? Is 40p expensive? Should we start a Pickled Egg Price Comparision Index? Are we sad or what?
October 2nd, 2006 at 16:19
i love pickled eggs
i just ate a whole jar (8) of them
yum yum yum
i will try them with salt and vinegar crisps next
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
November 1st, 2006 at 13:16
Option 1 sounds about right. As a Northerner who also keeps poultry I tend to pickle eggs when I have a surplus and am unable to eat or sell them fresh. Therefore it’s a great and tasty way to get rid of old eggs. I even do pickled quail eggs, thus providing a ’starter’ egg aimed at the timid. Perhaps they could even be floated in a gin and tonic. (Surely the eggs sink).
On a heavy note, I would suggest that egg prices in general are unaffected by inflation due to the increasingly poor conditions in which the humble chicken is kept.
The future is to buy Free Range and pickle your own.
December 14th, 2006 at 22:45
Dec/06: well, I`ve just bought 2×15 eggs (£2.10) from Somerfield`s, & an extortionate couple of quid (it`s only rancid wine, mais non?) for malt vinegar & pickled `em. MY old mongrel Daisy dog & I used to amuse regulars by scoffing one each, & whelks from the bloke with shellfish on a Sunday night in Sarf London. Unfortunately, my family have reacted in much disgust to the pong of the preparation of this culinary delight - they hate the smell of vingar too, poor souls!
December 15th, 2006 at 10:59
I am about to make some pickled eggs, which is why I stumbled accross this page. There is another theory, I bought my first pickled egg in a pub when I was seventeen in the manner to which Patel describes “products which rely on their consumers being too drunk to understand what they’re doing before they’ll buy them….” My second purchase was out of curiosity, I coundn’t remember whether I liked the pickled egg or not, for very obvious reasons. I ate this jar of eggs and can honestly say they were foul (no pun intended) So why am I making my own, morbid curiosity again, when you have a product that doesn’t sound, look or taste nice yet is widely available you cant help thinking What is it I dont get, you see them everywhere so people must like them and so I am now an unwilling consumer of pickled eggs simply because I cant beleive they are as bad as they are !The truth is there are very few people that actually enjoy this product and I beleive they are only saying they do for effect. So in actual fact the pickled egg industry exists because the product is so bad !
Happy Christmas
January 5th, 2007 at 19:53
Steve above said he is making pickled eggs,well I recieved a jar of the said eggs from him for a christmas pressie.The thought crossed my mind that he might be using me in some ghastly experiment!But,no they were great,I think he may have a secret recipe.The only problem is the by-product!
Happy New Year.
January 18th, 2007 at 19:23
this is all very interesting. I am not sure if anyone has heard of a show called the Trailer Park Boys, -is a Canadian comedy show, anyway on the show one of the characters decides to make pickled eggs, i have never tried them so i gave it a try. I got completly fucking wasted out of my mind on booze then boiled some eggs, 12, put them with pickling juice, and have them going for 4 weeks now, once they reach 6 i will eat them.