iPod Video Unveiled
After much speculation, Apple have unveiled their new iPod video.
However, I think I’ve found a new direction which Apple have utterly failed to explore in their iPod marketing strategy. They started with the iPod, progressed to the iPod mini, and then released the iPod nano. Presumably, after this short videographic interruption, they will continue into iPod pico and iPod femto, getting ever-smaller until they’re using SI prefixes whose only purpose is to appear in the front of diaries and be asked questions about on University Challenge, and selling iPods so tiny that you’d be in danger of losing them because they fall out between the threads which make up the fabric of your jeans.
However, this trend towards miniaturisation is not all it’s cracked up to be. My small amount of market research indicates that what people want is an iPod mega…an iPod so huge that it would require a small team of huskies and a wheelbarrow [not included] to drag it around with you wherever you go. It could store 1.5 trillion tracks, and would contain not just a pansy 3.5mm headphone jack, but a full-fledged power amp capable of pumping out a few thousand watts and, if they’re serious about this video malarky, a 40″ plasma TV.
Now there would be a music player worth an over-hyped unveiling.
October 14th, 2005 at 16:05
Surely they should have called the second one the “iPod milli” if they really were reading off a physics datasheet? Or would that then have people scared about a creepy-crawly iPod disappearing down their ears (much in the same way the word “nuclear” gets people running for their lives)?
October 16th, 2005 at 10:34
If Apple did produce a pico version of the iPod, you could arrange a collection of them into an array of coextending units and create yourself a visually appealing parallelepiPod.
October 16th, 2005 at 13:56
Thanks Paw. There’s nothing quite like a joke that takes a third-year undergraduate condensed matter physics course to properly understand! Apart from a joke that takes a fourth-year undergraduate physics course to properly understand: I can’t wait for next year…
October 19th, 2005 at 13:43
Have you seen this in The Register:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/10/13/mp3_breast_implant/
“Here’s an appealing thought: an mp3 breast implant which will allow surgically-enhanced girls to store and play back their entire music collections from their 36DD assets.”
Apparently, Jordan is getting the 60GB version.
Can I plug my iPod news site: www.ipod.org.uk. Thanks.